LotR Goes Hiking!
by Psyco101
Summary: Summary: See title. Please FLAME! Glares threatenly You better give us flames this time! FLAMES! flaaaammmmeesss......


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Disclaimer: We don't own LotR all that I own is ourselves and the stuff in our rooms and the words in our stories. We don't own Crystal Peak, but we want your flames!

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A/N: Well, here we are again writing this humor fic! Yay! This is the final part of our trilogy. The first part was in Sugar Pine Point State Park in California, where the family reunion that inspired this was held. The second was at Lake Tahoe, the lake right by where we were, in both Nevada and California. Then this part is at Crystal Peak in Nevada, that we went and visited in our family reunion. Oh yea (disclaimer moment) we don't own any of them. Well that's all. Enjoy!

LotR Goes Hiking!

By Psyco101, JilseponieAngel, and Twilight Fox

Aragorn, Boromir, Gandalf, and Gimli found themselves hiking up Crystal Peak.

Aragorn glanced over his shoulder to see how everyone was doing. He found Legolas staring in disgust at the hikers.

"Legolas, hurry up! We need to reach the top as soon as possible." Aragorn called down to the figure at the bottom of the hill.

"But my hair will get messed up and I'll get cut and I'll get dirt under my nails and--"

"Legolas son of Thranduil stop complaining this instant!" Gimli shouted, also noticing him down there.

Legolas pouted and started to climb up. He climbed through the thick slightly pointy bushes saying 'ow' with every step. The rest waited further up for him.

He hit a sandy spot with no bushes or anything, just sand. He took a few step on top of it, like the typical elf, but it suddenly shifted and he lost his balance, and fell backwards through the bushes, 'ow' again escaping his lips every few moments.

When he reached the bottom he lay still for several moments. During that time Aragorn started down to see if he was okay, when Legolas stood up twigs in his hair, cuts all up and down his face and hands.

"I told you! I told you! I got twigs in my hair, cuts, and dirt under my nails! I also broke one! I hate you!" He broke down sobbing. "I *sob* told *sob* you! *Sob* I *sob* told *sob* you *sob* that *sob* this *sob* would *sob* happen! *Sob* I *sob* want *sob* my *sob* Mommy!"

Aragorn carefully continued coming down. When he reached the bottom where Legolas was he tried to calm him down, which he succeeded so Legolas stood there sniffing while Aragorn tried to convince him that he needed to climb up the mountain, to where the others where. Legolas shook his head, tears streaming down his face. Aragorn took him by the hand and carefully led him up, to where the others were.

But when they got to the bushes, Legolas refused to go any further. Aragorn tried to reason with him but he refused to move any further. Finally Aragorn picked him up and piggybacked him to where the others were. Aragorn sat Legolas down.

"Now shall we continue?" He asked, and they proceeded up the mountain.

* * * * *

Ten minutes later Boromir started singing:

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Remember when you ran away

And I got on my knees and begged you not to go

Because I'd go birsek?

At this point everyone looked at Boromir like he was crazy but they stayed silent.

__

Well.

You left me any how and the days got worse and worse

And now you see that I've gone completely out of my mind.

And.

They're coming to take my away ha ha

They're coming to take me away

Ho, Ho, He, He, Ha, Ha

To the funny farm

Where life is beautiful all the time

And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats

And they're coming to take me away

Ha Ha!

You thought it was a joke

And so you laughed

You laughed

When I said that loosing you would make me flip my lid

"Boromir, if you don't stop sing now I really will flip my lid!" Gimli yelled causing birds to fly off from their nests, his hand gripping his ax threatenly.

Boromir looked guilty. "But I was having fun!"

"Yeah, driving us crazy!" Gandalf retorted.

Boromir said, "of course that's why:

__

They're coming to take me away

Ha, Ha

They're coming to take me away 

Ho, Ho, He, He, Ha, Ha

To the Happy Home--

"Boromir!!" They all yelled.

"Sorry" he said grumpily.

The group continued their climb up Crystal Peak.

Moments later they heard a crack. They turned around and saw Gandalf's staff in several pieces on the ground.

"Shoot," he said. "Oh well."

A bright flash of white flashed and suddenly there was a different staff in Gandalf's hand and then they heard: "I am Saruman, I have taken over Gandalf's body! Fear me!"

"AAHH!" They yelled.

"Put back together his staff!" Gimli said pulling out some glue and tossing more to the others.

Soon they had an approximate replica of Gandalf's staff, it looked almost nothing like the original. They thrust it back into his hand and Saruman, who had been telling them how much they would like it after the dark lord won the war, was banished.

"What happened?" Gandalf asked.

"You don't want to know." Gimli said.

"OK."

They continued up until their next break in peace. But when they reached it Boromir said, "they're staring at me."

"Who?" Legolas asked, still mad at the others for making him hike.

"The trees. Their staring at me *gasp* the other plants are now also and the rocks and the dirt *big gasp* even the insects are! They're plotting against me!" Boromir said terrified.

"They're not staring at you Boromir." Aragorn said trying to calm him down. "Did you eat some of the left over mushrooms from the Hobbit's packs again?"

Boromir nodded a look of panic on his face.

Aragorn sighed. "They're not staring at you you're hallucinating again."

"Well can we just leave already? I want to get this over with now that I've started." Legolas complained.

Boromir snickered, "you're hair's messed up Gimli."

"_I_ am not an elf who continually is obsessed with their appearance." Gimli said, running his hand over his hair anyways.

"Uh...Gimli, where'd your hair go?" Boromir asked.

Gimli quickly ran his hand over his head and realized that his hair had indeed vanished. "AAHH! It's gone!" He shrieked, panicking.

Legolas laughed at Gimli, and had to dodge Gimli's ax.

At that moment Arwen descended from the clouds.

Aragorn's eyes widened in delight. "Arwen!" He cried, scrambling to get to her.

"Stop beloved." She said touching the ground at the top of Crystal Peak, a few feet above them.

Aragorn stopped obediently.

"We must end this story, love; you must go into the box." She said pointing to an electric blue box with bows and frills and peacock feathers.

Confusion crossed his face, "but only the Evil Authors make us go into the box!"

Suddenly the disguise literally melted off of her, reviling the author Psyco101 in a bright yellow T-shirt, and jean capris, . She wore her hair down and, for once, her glasses, not wanting to put in her contacts that morning.

Her eyes flashed. "You will get into the box or I'll write an NC-17 SLASH about you people!" She said threatenly.

They quickly got into the box horror written all over their faces. The box closed sealing them in.

She spoke to the readers; "first: I want to tell you that I NEVER would write a Slash! I'm not permitted by religion! I have to be choosy about PG-13's and absolutely NO R's! I'm not going to write a slash! *Shudders at just thinking about them* Secondly, on a happier note: I want flames on this! FLAMES!" Flames jumped out of the rocks around her feet. "FLAMES! Give me your FLAMES!" The flames jumped higher covering the computer screen. When they vanished the author and the box were gone, leaving them looking at the top of Crystal Peak.

The End

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A/N: Angel: Well I hope you liked it! We had fun doing it! Psyco: Yep we did, and now--hey wait! We forgot to use that line that we were planning! Angel: Which line? Psyco: The "I hear voices and they don't like you very much right now" one. Angel: Oh. Oh well! Read and Flame!

To flame the authors for never returning the Hobbits back to life and making everyone else go crazy follow the arrow! (That really doesn't exist because ff.net don't get along with arrows all that well) ~~~Flame!~~~


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